Green and Gray
Released May 3, 2019.
Chappy Hull - guitar and background vocals Kris Kuss - drums Rick Maguire - guitar and vocals Alex Molini - bass Elisabeth Fuchsia played viola and violin. Jane Scarpantoni played cello. Engineered, mixed and mastered by Kevin S. McMahon in New Paltz NY at Marcata Recording in December of 2018 and January of 2019. Produced by Pile and Kevin S. McMahon. Art by Lindsey Boss.
1. Firewood No longer burdened by youth Not burning and open and raw like a wound And shopping is much easier now I can be quiet and private and protected In a compartment tucked away real tight I’ll ride my bike til the sun goes down Singing songs of no reason while no one’s around And when it gets dark I will continue to stay out With my gray hairs all on the ground With something new to romanticize They’ll all leave without you They always will We can hold hands if we promise to go to the same place At the same exact time I will keep my grasp tight Until we part ways then we can both disappear If I avoid you then you can’t abandon me I can focus on my tasks so fervently Everything is much easier now My beliefs unchallenged thus calcified In a compartment tucked away real tight 2. Your Performance Looking for footing while doing it’s best impression of Being human meanwhile up on hind legs at the podium Meanwhile That neon cartoon tries to explain its presence in an unclear and roundabout way And starts to itch ‘Grifting is encouraged’ Campaigning, shaking hands, kissing babies and some cloaked pandering ‘I don’t eat mine’ They are of you all and you are the ones that they need And they fall for it Beaten down by a sleight of hand But it has no taste Provides no sustenance It still ends up at the table With my lone offering My lone offering 3. On a Bigger Screen When they find you out Opened up Pulled apart By an anxious surgeon Sharing panic Gifting dread And your chest puffed out now When they find you out Fixated Opportunist Another frame Out of context Deep shame Consuming guilt In a fever dream All privacy Projected on A bigger screen When they find you out 4. Other Moons I wonder If moons of others Are painted as lonely as ours Or if they don’t need charity No myths that have been passed along Not pitied because they had our company once How vain To think that it’s remote Only outside its will 5. Hair I used to think There was just one puppeteer pulling on all the strings But now It seems like we’re all tugging on something In one big ol’ tangled mess I feel some hair that‘s hanging off of me It’s not mine nor do I want it to be I will pull for you if that’s what you want me to do But I like to walk fast and I demand you allow me to I went from one reason to none To as many as I could argue And back to zero Because I could fight but I don’t want to I’d rather recite my fate What I often offer gets trapped in how I speak By what I love or what I despise but usually by each I’m hung up on being untethered in a way that agrees with me: With the door open 6. A Labyrinth with No Center Leave well enough alone To you too And to you too Then I drain in to sleep There are few that in whom I’d confide So I’ll try my hand at being weightless I’ll come to and continue to get by No outlet I guess So then forward And incomplete At best at peace At rest at least Patterns and habits I live inside them now I hope to trap myself in a museum piece Admired in a flattering light and at night left be Finding something in no answers A labyrinth with no center Forge my way to some other side Where I assume it’ll be weightless Weight announces itself as a new surprise That I know I should have seen coming Stretching out until something tears Like chewing sand or swallowing hair And your best foot Then met with ambivalence Resounding and with flip ignorance But I live here now Then acceptance of what I choose and its place in nowhere Unearthing what might have no use My new position and place of residence 7. The Soft Hands of Stephen Miller From a long line of translucent lizards Comes our boy Stephen With an inferiority complex passed down generations A weakness resilient and with teeth Best in his class Worked very hard to layer over worthlessness A stiff pale shell Smugly changing the subject from his impotence Stephen, tell me about your great grandmother So how? Indulging fear professionally We’re all railing against insignificance, Steve But you don’t have to be so vile and insufferable about it You don’t need to be such a delicate guy But you don’t know how 8. Lord of Calendars Betting on horses That are all making their way Each one in a different direction At the designed center of their universe I am Feeling slight pressure now But I appear, so far, to be Managing all of them well My desperate attempts to cheat death and time Rely on more recent myths And modern fiction and sending inverted curses and casting subversive spells I’m measured now Regimented and restrained and refined Watching my behavior I’ve pared it down To one horse rather than several So I continue being pulled but one way Racing around a new marble that doesn’t need you Or need to dim the sun Please drag me along As I lob inverted curses and cast some subversive spells I’ll trade you my time For a reason and a worthwhile ride I know it’s not much But it’s all I can give that I’m sure is mine My heavy hand Weighs in and with each pound a line And you can’t show up To the ritual without a sacrifice 9. Bruxist Grin At night your heart pounds in the dark In the morning your mouth full of dust You tried to reason but your jaw knows where you are Trying to get comfortable on the cliff A beautiful view and your stomach is in your throat But there’s trouble Trouble either way What you don’t want can find some way to stay with you The moments of panic you repress Will return like an ending’s twist 10. A Bug On Its Back There’s no reward It’s a pest to you Don’t investigate It’s probably already dead But what If It just starves It isn’t on you There’d be no funeral They probably can’t feel it Or anything (or maybe put it out of its misery) I can’t imagine how that might feel. So. They probably can’t feel it But when they see you on yours 11. My Employer I’m aware of my age My impermanence and so forth I’ve made arrangements to change But my nature will make its case And then work comes first I’m sorry again I can’t think two things at once I don’t mean to be so cold But if it means a movie alone It could be worse. I found fire when I was 12 It’s lasted over twenty years And I can count on one finger The people that can hurt me now So work comes first I’m sorry if I shut off Never been able to do both So I keep my nose down And if it means a movie alone It could be worse. 12. Hiding Places Another ugly portrait that I Will use as an argument And a joke I’ll use as proof Holding those cards so close That you can’t read them anymore But there’s a time limit And it’s the hand you have to play from now on With a past from which you can’t take off You then apply fluorescence And then move to a home among trees Wearing shoes that are made to be shaped like Your feet All because they fell for it So grateful they fell for it Collectively pulling one over Together duped Universal rip off Cosmic prank On a world of suckers 13. No Hands Holding my own hand for no one I’m quickly learning to let this be enough To keep still and let that content me I know that I could have written another one About how strong it was because anything too stupid to be said is sung It seems decent enough and plenty welcoming And it’s around which is more than can be said of me I wonder if I was would that have changed anything Maybe I should have dropped everything and gone after it And hoped it wouldn’t do what it does But anything too stupid to be said is sung I'll fall out as much as I need which might be all the way if I have it in me If losing this might help me find anything else Then I’ll just hold my tongue because anything too stupid to be said is sung